Ay yo Sexy...

This post may seem like more of a ramble than a story, but here goes:


 Last Sunday, after a particularly sad lunch, I found myself in Union Square running errands. As I passed by a group of men, I heard a few of them saying the usual: "Hello miss. Ooh, you so sexy. Heyyy mama." Already sad, pissed, hurt and vulnerable, I went past them into the store, knowing I would see them on my way out. After I made my purchases and headed back out into the rain, I braced myself for the cat calls. In recent years it seems as though women have had to learn to brace themselves and be prepared to be addressed when passing men (of any age). But this time, instead of quietly walking by and holding in my disgust, I turned to the main offender, stopped in my tracks, and stared at him. He was a bit taken aback at first, but then finally, he continued the cat calls directly. As I stared at him, I asked him what he was doing. To which he responded, "I'm just tryna tell you that chu look goood, mama! You sexy!" I thanked him for his compliment, and even informed him that I appreciate the acknowledgement, since I work hard to look good, but I also asked him if there was possibly another, more respectful way to show his appreciation. He stared at me, bewildered almost, and confused. "But...i jus wanted you to know that you look good...I ain't mean no harm by it sweetheart...I was jus tryna compliment you....." he trailed off. I asked, "And, I understand what you were TRYING to do, but do you know how uncomfortable that is from MY perspective? How many women do you think have to brace themselves before walking through a crowd of men, for fear of being treated like a piece of meat? Why do you think I'm wearing headphones?"


After my mini monologue, he and his friends looked at each other, nodded, then looked back to me solemnly. The ring leader then said, "I can see that. I'm sorry.....I didn't even think of it that way." As I thanked them all for listening to me respectfully, I walked away feeling a little lighter, and even a little encouraged.

Imagine if every young girl/woman who felt disrespected in one way or another found a way to get the boys to understand how they felt, how unflattering and even hurtful it is to be treated like a piece of meat. In fact, a week and a half ago there was a blog on Essence.com about this very thing Seen here. And, it just got me to thinking-wouldn't the world be a better place if we could start training our young boys to treat women/girls with more respect? And, if we teach our girls that they don't have to stand for any form of uncomfortable behavior-in relationships or in the street, gradually our boys and men will have no choice to treat us with nothing but respect at all times. Now, that's sexy.